Thursday, 15 September 2011

Sitting On The Fence

I've given up on worrying about the future. I've learned time and time again that most problems that appear on the horizon, tend to resolve themselves when they are upon us. It's like seeing a huge wave in the distance, that laps gently at your feet by the time it reaches the shore. It's as though experience and answered prayer has helped me to break through that ageless habit of worrying. 

That's not to say I don't worry. Sometimes I am so desperate for full time work, and I wonder if Spud and I will ever be able to get a mortgage. But most of the time I am calm. I have prayed about these difficult situations over and over again, and I just feel like God is saying to me: 

Don't worry, I've got it all under control. Just sit back, and in the meantime, use all this spare time productively...

Which is what I've been doing. I've been getting more and more involved at church, from attending courses in worship leading and pastoral care, to volunteering to paint the hall during half term. And I've been working on my writing whenever I can, and doing the things I never normally have time for, like trying out new recipes. 

I am sitting on the fence, and this isn't natural for me. I am, inwardly at least, a very impatient person. Do you know the willpower it has taken to wait three and a half years to marry and settle down with Spud? I am a person who's always raring to go, eager to take on more responsibility when and if I am able, and desperate to get my life under way! But at the moment, I am sitting on the fence, and I am fairly calm about it all. Life is an adventure, and I am looking forward to all that's ahead...

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