Sunday, 18 April 2010

#18 Being Kess

I have acquired several different nicknames over the years, but I like being Kess best of all. It is a pseudonym I use only for blogging, taken from a character in a favourite childhood trilogy of mine, and chosen because it's original. I am yet to meet another Kess, both on blogger and in reality! It's not a nickname I can easily introduce into the real world, nor do I have any great desire to do so, although it's tempting because I feel I've formed an identity as Kess. She is a part of me. She is the part of me that coolly handled the pizza incident last week, and sang in front of an audience of 50(+). She is the part of me brave enough to tackle a pressing matter on the head, and consequently found a piece of mind. She's not an alter ego; just the confident part of me, that doesn't emerge as often as I'd like. Maybe that sounds bizarre. Maybe this is the consequence of studying psychoanalysis for my dissertation.  

I think names have a big impact on our identity. If I changed my blogger name I'm sure it would make an impact of sorts on my followers. I'm sure they would find it confusing and think differently of me to begin with because I have formed an identity as Kess. But it would make all the more difference in the real world. I know of someone who changed her name and everyone who knew her had to make a real effort to remember! I met her after the change, but despite this I still felt that her original name suited her better! To be fair, I knew of her before she changed her name, but it just goes to show what an impact it makes!

That's why I could never introduce Kess as a nickname in reality. All my nicknames originate from my name, but Kess is so different. It would sound strange and unnatural, both to myself and the people around me. I have never disliked my name, even though very few spell it correctly first time round. There are relatives who have known me since I was a baby and still can't spell my name properly! 

I don't know where I am going with this post so I think I had better sign off! Make of it what you will. 


Anna said...

I love Kess, I love K.
Any of you,
I love.
Your words,
your dreams hopes and fears.
I'm so glad we met

Kess said...

Me too :) Me too!



Dreaming said...

I think your name is a part of your identity. I've had to alter my name (just so people could pronounce it) and I usually go by the nickname of Stasie. That nickname (I feel) is my real name, it's what I always been called by everyone, and hearing my real name or reading it on important documents just seems bizarre sometimes. So i know what you're getting at :)

Kess said...

Thanks for your comment Stasie. I'm glad you know what I'm talking about :)