Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Up and Down

Emotionally, I've been feeling like a yo-yo all weekend. I put this down to tiredness mostly. I started lectures again last week, and have had to adapt to a new routine. I have also had to pick up my juggling act once more, and learn to fit lectures, work hours, assignments, reading, and Spud into the small space of a week. I am already behind on my reading because my lecturer never sent me the reading list, and I didn't get to see it until my first lecture. This is frustrating because there are some pretty hefty texts on there. 

However, I did receive a lift when I collected an assignment from last semester, and learned that I had achieved another  first-class. This means I passed the module with a first-class overall. I am thrilled! The dissertation is also going well. It may not quite be writing itself, but it's certainly not the uphill struggle I envisaged. I have written 4,000 words in first draft, and I'm not far off the halfway mark. 

I worked all day Saturday, and went straight on to Golden Girl's birthday meal. On Sunday I got up early for church, and then ran 7 miles afterwards. By the late afternoon I was exhausted, and feeling quite tearful. I was looking ahead and feeling quite overwhelmed by the coming months. I have so much to do, but I was also thinking about the move and the upheaval it will cause. Of course, I am not put off by this, and still anticipate it with much excitement, but I was contemplating all the goodbyes I will have to say during the months ahead. There are so many people that I'm going to miss. I think a part of me just wants to get the move over with so that I can settle into my new life, and overcome my silent fears that I won't find a job, or make friends. But still there's another, small, part of me that wants to cling to the present, and keep things just the way they are. 

4 comments:

Mariel said...

Looks like you're going to be very busy. I'm sure you can manage, Kess. Don't worry too much. God bless! :)

Kess said...

Thanks for your words of encouragement Mariel :)

Anna said...

Kess darling
no matter where you go in life, people will love you
and want to be your friend.
How could they not?
You are one of the sweetest souls to grace this earth.
So chin up lass.
All will be well, and you will have Spud close on hand
for moral support!
Tiredness makes all us gals weepy.
When I'm tired, I even cry at the ads on telly lol.
AML
Anna
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Kess said...

Thank you Anna :) I know, I know. I was just having a mopy day. I'm sure I'll feel better after a goodnight's sleep. I'm feeling more positive today.

AML

Kess
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