'I keep trying to find my way but all I know is
I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
But I'm lost without you'
Delta Goodrem - 'Lost Without You'
All it took was a love letter...
After a fairly mild October, November gave way to winds and rain. We were woken yesterday by fearsome winds, tossing the leaves back and forth, and rattling the window panes. My mother's ladybird house was knocked askance by a strong gust, although I doubt it houses any residents at this time of the year.
Early this morning, I kissed Spud goodbye in my room before leaving for my lecture. I knew that when I returned this afternoon he would be more than a hundred miles away, and halfway back home at least. Spud was still in bed, barely awake, and the rain was audible against the window. We clung to each other.
For the last few days I've been wishing that this day would never come, as I always do when a parting is imminent, but I suppose if this day never came, then we would never enjoy the time to come. I know that each parting takes us ever closer to a time when partings will be a rarity, if that.
And so we let go and said goodbye, and I left to catch my bus. My lecture provided the perfect distraction, although I kept glancing at the clock, watching out for 10.35, the time his coach left. By the time I was back at the bus station, waiting for my bus home, he'd been on the coach for two and a half hours.
Now I am home, with a million things to do, and struggling to deflate the air-bed. It was a while before I found the love letter tucked beneath my duvet cover and that was all it took. I read it with difficulty, my eyes blurred with tears. That was all it took to make me cry. But I'm not sad, no, because although the parting was so hard, I know I have found true love, and anticipate a lifetime of it ahead. I am a very blessed woman.